So I just spent the rest of my day bumming around. Been intending to paint but I didn’t get to.
I find myself counting the days until the next rest day, and you know it sucks when life starts becoming all about the next rest day!
It’s like you only have 2 days in a week that counts...
I try to think about what I need to do at work. You know, like the people who are so passionate and all, but my brain forbids me to. Like work is an alternate dimension that you must never revisit once you step out of.
I feel resistant to the incredible pressure it puts in me and really, what significance do these links and emails have in the world and in my life? lol..!
Sometimes I think I have an aversion to problems. If only things would just always go smoothly, but they don’t. Not at work. Not in real life either!
I always feel like running whenever I’m confronted by something so heavy.
I guess it’s because I haven’t really developed confidence in my skill for handling problems.
I like working on things in which i have a predicted end in mind. Whenever i do that I’m on a high, but I seem to have an aversion for the uknown.
It’s either that, or I don’t feel strongly enough for my job. Maybe I like it now because i have to like it. Maybe I like it now because it forces me to do things I wouldn’t have done.
Hell! I don’t even know why I like my job, or if I do like it in the first place. If I didn’t, I’m probably doing a good job at hiding it.
I think I’m so boring!
Maybe the reason why i don’t get to finish problems as fast, is my reluctance everytime they confront me. I tend to think too much. This one my friends and a few of my co-workers have started to notice.
I guess I need practice.
Thank God for having those people that loves me unconditionally. They drives me in those days i feel like going autopilot.
I feel like, I want to work on something that has a greater social significance and I will definitely not spend forever in my current job. However, I'm still appreciating this one for the training it gives me. Hopefully I discover the kind of job i really want soon :)