May 27, 2011

PSEUDO RELATIONSHIP: Parang kayo, pero hindi

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage…others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-boyfriend, pseudo-girlfriend, pseudo-relationships. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers. Pwedeng naay verbal agreement, pwede pud wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, posible pud nga wala. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang formal courtship na nangyari! Pero the way mo mag – act, sa inyong mga gina-sulti, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up…you still love each other and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons that you alone know, dili sa ninyo gusto magbalik. It can also happen before a relationship, kanang pareho gani mo nga nakikiramramdam pa lang sa isa’t-isa. Posible pud nga dili sa ninyo gusto mag-seryoso kaya atik-atik lang sa. Testing lang gud. Pwede pud nga dili pwede maging kamo kay isa sa inyo commited na. Kaya habang wala pa siya nakipag-break sa iyang gf/bf, wala sa mo’y pormal nga relasyon para pud nga dili siya matawag nga"namamangka sa dalawang ilog" kasi hindi nga naman kayo.

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Most specially if naghahanap ka lang ng “kalaro”...pero ayaw lang jud pag-expect nga naa’y adto-an ang ing-ani nga situation kay wala jud na’y kasiguraduhan. PROMISE!..So nganong daghan ang naga-settle sa ing-aning set up knowing for a fact na dili jud mo secured ug wala mo’y kaad-tuan sa ing-ani nga relationship?

Naa’y different reasons: Pwedeng for fun lang!..pwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or pwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala pa jud ang the real thing, didto sa sa atik-atik. For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling…yung tipong  pag  open  mo sa cell phone mo mangingiti  ka  kasi  alam  mong  s’ya yung nag text.

Sa isang pseudo relationship, no commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn’t commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren’t ready to commit. But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. First, you can’t ask him/her to commit. Since it’s not really a relationship, you can’t demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? You will always be uncertain about your role in his/her life. You can’t expect him/her to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the other girls/boys, you just have to keep it to yourself. Sino ka ba para magselos? Second, what if you fall deeply in love with him/her? You can’t be sure if he/she feels the same way. Basig naga-assume raka nga love ka niya…even if you are dying to tell him you love him/her, you can’t, because you’re not sure if he’ll/she’ll like it. Basig maulawan lang ka. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all. Third, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested all your emotions and this man/woman hasn’t? What if you remain faithful to him/her, and keep on ignoring other boys/girls? See? Maka – ingon kaya ka nga safe ka sa pseudo – relationship? Wala jud kay assurance nga dili ka masakitan…isa pa ka downside sa pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, sa pseudo – relationship di mo alam kung san’ mo ilulugar ang sarili mo…wala kang pinanghahawakan.

Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me," wala’y "us." Maayo unta kung pseudo-pain pud ang imong ma-feel. Kaso, dili man gud…real pain jud s’ya. And usually, bisag humana ang pseudo- relationship, dili jud nimo pwedeng maiwasan nga mag – hope one day, nga naa pa to’ siya’y continuation. And you will be miserable; you’ll get exhausted, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that the guy/girl is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else. Lisod kaayo, noh? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you’d end up hurting yourself in the process.

Pero pwede man pud maiwasan ang sakit. Pwede ra man nga dili na lang sa nimo huna-hunaon ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences. "Gawin mo kung anong magpapasaya sayo!" but if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan jud nimo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo- relationships and wait for the real thing. Ang bottom line lang jud, “kung ano ang magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo…”

Just be ready of yourself lang jud sa mga possible consequences, dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage, usahay lang na siya matinuod…what I mean is , bihira lang kaayo na s’ya mauwi sa totohanan. Usually, hangtud dira lang jud na siya…ALMOST BUT NOT  QUITE

May 15, 2011

40 Rules for Living

1.Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2.Memorize your favourite poem.
3.Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4.When you say, "I love you," mean it.
5.When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
6.Never laugh at anyone's dreams.
7.Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
8.Don't judge people by their relatives.
9.Talk slow but think quick.
10.When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
11.Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
12.Call your mom.
13.Say "Bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
14.When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
15.Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
16.Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
17.When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
18.Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
19.Marry someone you love to talk to. As you get older, conversational skills will be as important as any other.
20.Spend some time alone.
21.Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
22.Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
23.Read more books and watch less TV.
24.Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time.
25.Trust in God but lock your car.
26.A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
27.In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
28.Read between the lines.
29.Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
30.Be gentle with the earth.
31.Pray -- there's immeasurable power in it.
32.Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
33.Mind your own business.
34.Don't trust a lover who doesn't close his/her eyes when you kiss them.
35.Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
36.If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
37.Learn the rules then break some.
38.Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
39.Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
40.Remember that your character is your destiny.

Courtesy of