The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage…others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-boyfriend, pseudo-girlfriend, pseudo-relationships. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers. Pwedeng naay verbal agreement, pwede pud wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, posible pud nga wala. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang formal courtship na nangyari! Pero the way mo mag – act, sa inyong mga gina-sulti, parang kayo, pero hindi.
This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up…you still love each other and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons that you alone know, dili sa ninyo gusto magbalik. It can also happen before a relationship, kanang pareho gani mo nga nakikiramramdam pa lang sa isa’t-isa. Posible pud nga dili sa ninyo gusto mag-seryoso kaya atik-atik lang sa. Testing lang gud. Pwede pud nga dili pwede maging kamo kay isa sa inyo commited na. Kaya habang wala pa siya nakipag-break sa iyang gf/bf, wala sa mo’y pormal nga relasyon para pud nga dili siya matawag nga"namamangka sa dalawang ilog" kasi hindi nga naman kayo.
This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Most specially if naghahanap ka lang ng “kalaro”...pero ayaw lang jud pag-expect nga naa’y adto-an ang ing-ani nga situation kay wala jud na’y kasiguraduhan. PROMISE!..So nganong daghan ang naga-settle sa ing-aning set up knowing for a fact na dili jud mo secured ug wala mo’y kaad-tuan sa ing-ani nga relationship?
Naa’y different reasons: Pwedeng for fun lang!..pwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or pwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala pa jud ang the real thing, didto sa sa atik-atik. For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling…yung tipong pag open mo sa cell phone mo mangingiti ka kasi alam mong s’ya yung nag text.
Sa isang pseudo relationship, no commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn’t commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren’t ready to commit. But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. First, you can’t ask him/her to commit. Since it’s not really a relationship, you can’t demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? You will always be uncertain about your role in his/her life. You can’t expect him/her to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the other girls/boys, you just have to keep it to yourself. Sino ka ba para magselos? Second, what if you fall deeply in love with him/her? You can’t be sure if he/she feels the same way. Basig naga-assume raka nga love ka niya…even if you are dying to tell him you love him/her, you can’t, because you’re not sure if he’ll/she’ll like it. Basig maulawan lang ka. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all. Third, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested all your emotions and this man/woman hasn’t? What if you remain faithful to him/her, and keep on ignoring other boys/girls? See? Maka – ingon kaya ka nga safe ka sa pseudo – relationship? Wala jud kay assurance nga dili ka masakitan…isa pa ka downside sa pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, sa pseudo – relationship di mo alam kung san’ mo ilulugar ang sarili mo…wala kang pinanghahawakan.
Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me," wala’y "us." Maayo unta kung pseudo-pain pud ang imong ma-feel. Kaso, dili man gud…real pain jud s’ya. And usually, bisag humana ang pseudo- relationship, dili jud nimo pwedeng maiwasan nga mag – hope one day, nga naa pa to’ siya’y continuation. And you will be miserable; you’ll get exhausted, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that the guy/girl is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else. Lisod kaayo, noh? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you’d end up hurting yourself in the process.
Pero pwede man pud maiwasan ang sakit. Pwede ra man nga dili na lang sa nimo huna-hunaon ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences. "Gawin mo kung anong magpapasaya sayo!" but if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan jud nimo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo- relationships and wait for the real thing. Ang bottom line lang jud, “kung ano ang magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo…”
Just be ready of yourself lang jud sa mga possible consequences, dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage, usahay lang na siya matinuod…what I mean is , bihira lang kaayo na s’ya mauwi sa totohanan. Usually, hangtud dira lang jud na siya…ALMOST BUT NOT QUITE
Well said..
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